A few things set this moment off for me. First, it’s February and the idea of ‘love’ is floating all around our society. But mostly it was a conversation that I just had with one of my very close friends. This week I had decided, since last week I focused so much on my professional career that I would focus on my personal one instead. Every day I have taken time to study my reactions and my emotional responses to certain scenarios, or people. I feel everything which I think is a beautiful thing. So I call them (days like yesterday) moments because that’s what they are to me. Brief moments in time that give me intense clarity and joy, and honestly I am surprised this one take so long to get to me.
To honor the month of self-love I want to ask a few questions (questions I have asked myself); who are you? What makes YOU great? What makes YOU happy?
Then I ask, Are YOU in control of the things that make you great and happy? Because you should be. This is what I realized today, as I drove through the Nederland’s to spend another day immersing myself in this world. I am the only person that is going to see what I see. I am the only person that is able to create my own success, my own memories, and my own surroundings. I am in charge of my own life and it is up to me to create that happy life I want. In order to love my life, I have to love myself.
So I ask myself this question. Do I love myself? I understand that it is up to me (aka.I am in charge of my life), but do I follow through? Do I put myself in the right scenarios and surround myself with the right people?
I have a core group of supporters, they never make me question my own personal love. And recently I have been able to visit some very humbling and beautiful places, so yes I supposed I would tell you that I do love myself. But these moments of self-love have only been temporary. I would love to get to the point where every single moment in time I feel this intensity.
So then I started to reflect on my time. Am I surrounding myself and spending my time with people who love me? And when I say ‘love’, I mean it in the most platonic way. Like keeping up with someone’s health issues, caring about their family history, or calling to make sure they made it home okay. There are all sorts of little things that people do for me to show me that they love me. I urge you to recognize these moments because these are the people in your corner.
“Contrary to what you may think, an immoral act of any kind will only lower your self-esteem. Be true to yourselves, and your respect for yourself will increase. Know that yours is a divine birthright. Cultivate a good opinion of yourselves. Others may make cutting remarks concerning you. This is only a sign of their ignorance and not of your qualities. Walk with that dignity, which is becoming a young woman go is a daughter of god.” Gordon B.
The people that I spend my time on, the ones that I am letting occupy my mind, are they worth it? I don’t say this in a selfish way, I say this out of respect for myself. It is hard- to think that the people I want to spend my time loving don’t love me back- but they don’t. That is okay. I need to use that TIME and that LOVE that I would so graciously give out to those who don’t need it, on ME. Someone said to me, Love Freely. But do not expect anything in return which is something I need to practice. I need to make a change from feeling to the point where I get stuck in the situation to feeling from afar. Letting the people I love, love themselves is a better gift then anything I could give them…
Start with the two questions, am I loving myself and are my surroundings loving me back. A happy life means eliminating all elements of my life that make me feel uneasy. Any negativity about myself or my journey needs to be whipped away and out of my memory.