Have you ever woken up, went outside and thought to yourself, “I’ve lived this day before.”!?
There is something so familiar in the way it smells outside today and the way the breeze is blowing. Not too much where my skirt is flying up but just enough to feel it. Like it’s reminding me how much it longs to touch me and how hard it is trying to have me recognize its touch. Today is so familiar. As if I’ve already lived through this day. Deja senti (according to my research) is what I have been experiencing. It is not so much that I have experienced this day, but I have felt this exact same feeling before. And it isn’t the first time. I am not sure how many times this has happened but every time I feel a sense of satisfaction with myself.
However, I can remember the exact day from where this emotion stems from. I was a sophomore at FGCU in my spring semester, it was February or March I can’t remember exactly but around that time I was going through a serious period of sadness that was hard for me to break out of. Until this day. This one day was different. I was walking back to my dorm room after a class and I had stopped on the sidewalk to sun bathe my face for a second, but it was in that EXACT moment I realized I was no longer sad or angry at myself. Instead I was happy, satisfied with the way my life was going. I realized I had overcome a huge obstacle in my life and I felt powerful and brave.
I am really not sure how my brain is able to produce this exact same feeling (and bringing me back to that moment in my past) every so often. But I am grateful for it and thrilled that this morning I woke up with that same satisfying feeling but I am still wondering, how? So if you have any opinions or thoughts for me that would be great!
But, why question a good thing right? I choose to embrace it.
Have a great day beautiful people, stay awesome.