For years I have had this list near my bed titled, “I’m Grateful For…”
I wrote it in 2013 after spending a beautiful summer with a boy named Michael. The summer of 2013 was an ongoing, unforgettable memory. I wish I could still be living in the mindset that I was back then. I woke up every morning thrilled to be alive and in my own skin. I appreciated every little detail that summer and Michael made sure of that. The way that he viewed the world was mind boggling. With him I found beauty in the night sky and an immensity in the stars. He was not the sole reason why I had a great summer but it was his mind that molded mine into realizing something much greater than my ego. I was staying back at home with my parents, working at a beach club and I am sure it was a mix between the sunshine, the ocean breeze and the love that this boy had for me that made me feel fearless and whole. I reflect back on that moment because that summer is when I made this list. I was in a different place back then but I want to be able to get back to that feeling. The feeling that this world does not owe me anything. I am simply here to live a wonderful life and be a good person. Once I left that summer I moved to Orlando and my life sort of spun out of control. Not in a bad way. It was just the longer I was there the less I was able to hold on to the feeling of gratitude, and eventually I lost that buzz. A new school, new friends, the outside world- it can all wear out a person really quickly.
I always held onto that list, it was above my bed with the “I’m Grateful for” title and I go on to list 7 things that I am grateful for. At the bottom it says “Thank the universe…”
Today I decided to write a new one. Not because I am no longer grateful for these things but because my mind has shifted a bit. I wrote that three years ago. I am no longer the same person I was back then. I want to get to a point in my life where I wake up every morning thrilled to be alive, even if it is no longer for the same reasons. I have a gratitude rock it sits on the dash in my car, and every time I look at it I think of all the things that I am happy about. My family, my friends, my new job. But today I was able to sit down and write out a new list. I am thinking that I will do this every couple of years, re-evaluate what I find is important in my life and what makes me happy. I wanted to share this with you because I found it really interesting the compare and contrast between these two lists. Remember I was a brand new 20 yr old when I wrote the first one.
What a perfect morning I was able to have and it is only 8:45 am!