love yourself · Write

Twenty Three

I never want my fire to burn out. When I am seventy years old I want to be able to view life the same way that I do now. I want to still see the magic and the beauty in the world.

 
I made it to 23 years old and many people say that I have not matured yet… but if maturing means that I stop striving to see a beautiful view or a beautiful person than I do not want to grow up. I never want to stop feeling the chills that I feel when I can view a whole city in one glance. I went to California for my birthday this year and spent time with my oldest friend Blake (besides you Megan Lucas- love you girl) I was able experience the way someone else viewed the world and it humbled me a little bit. He is a different type of human being (from me), he has a tense sense of determination and strength and is very much into the reality of the world. Whereas, for me, I have found ways to step out of the ‘corporate’ reality and find my own. I felt humbled spending time with someone who was so grounded; it made me understand just how special I really am. During this trip I also realized how much flying I still have to do. What I find strange is how easy it is for me to fall in love with the flowers and the trees and the view of the seas – but to fall in love, solely in love with one person is something I have not been able to do.

I love the rush I get when I take off in a plane by myself to a new location and I immerse myself in local living and new cultures.

I fall in love with the way the air smells when I hike on a snowy day.

I fall in love with the different colors in the trees when the leaves start to fall.

I love earth. I love my friends and my family but somehow I am incapable of letting a human being depend on me. I think it is because my family and mother earth can love me no matter what risk I take or mistake I make. If I want to pack my bags and leave the country I can do that. I want a love that has no boundaries, one that allows me to fly into unknown world. We all view love, life, careers, or risk, we all view it differently than the person next to us. There is something beautiful in the conflicts of different opinions and views – the fact that you cannot always agree with someone just because of who you are is also magical.

I felt a deep connection with the mountains I climbed in California. I think because when I was walking I took notice that there were AT LEAST, 10-12 different species of foliage on the side of the mountain. Flowers, weeds, trees they were all different and yet all cohabitating together. Striving to grow, to feel the sunlight and to show us their beauty. They may have bloomed at different times, they may have a family of bushes surrounding them or be a single root growing in solitary- either way they were there together. I guess what I am trying to say is that I can learn a lot from the earth. (Often I think earth teaches me more than humans do) We all learn to love differently and what is beautiful is when you can realize that and observe it in a non-judgmental way.

 
I might only be 23, and I might be what some call “immature” but I was able to smell flowers, feel the sunshine on my face and see the whole city of Los Angeles, CA in one glance, what did you do for your 23rd birthday?

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