My journey to Colorado was not something I took lightly but it was something that I had to do…
I had a perfectly comfortable life in Florida. My parents always lived within hours from me, all my childhood friends I still saw during the holidays, I had a degree, lived minutes from the beach and I had a sustainable job. It was a comfortable life. But I have never been satisfied being comfortable. I feel joy when I accomplish something that no one saw coming.
I run my mouth about my dreams and sometimes that is all they are… “Dreams”. This dream was different. I had to move. I had to prove to all those who silently doubted me that I can move across the country with no one, and not only survive but thrive.
I had been thinking of moving to Colorado for a while but every time I would take an action step forward fear overcame me and I would take a step back. I was both equally thrilled as I was terrified. I have never taken big decisions lightly so I weighed on this for months. And months. I ached to leave my comfortable life in Orlando, to explore the unknown and reveal my true self, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the people I loved there. These people, they were all I really knew. I have always been easy at making friends and I knew that would not be an issue when I moved away, but I felt as if I would be betraying those I love here in my home. Leaving my loved ones behind was the one obstacle I could not get through. But I had to leave, I needed to do this. It wasn’t until I expressed this to my friends and family that I realized they felt the opposite of betrayed, in fact, it was in those moments of me deciding to face my fears that I found those who truly love me. The people who I couldn’t bear to leave were there to tell me that this is my destiny and they supported me. Then all of the sudden what I feared to leave behind became what I cherished most as I moved forward.
My father and I travelled around Colorado for weeks before deciding that I would settle down near Boulder. I learned more about survival and the simple beauty of life in those weeks of hotel surfing with my dad than I ever learned in my four years behind a desk. I learned to appreciate the beauty in a sunset that falls down behind the mountains, and how to sincerely absorb a conversation with a stranger.
The first weekend in Colorado I stayed in a hostel on 20th where I was surrounded by all these different, unique individuals. Each of them carried with them a story. Each of them just trying to survive. Like me.
It is interesting to me how there are so many people in this world and how some us are going through the same struggles. All of us different but in ways so much alike. I think after this weekend, aside from all the joints passed around and stories shared, I realized something very important. All of us are striving for the same two things, happiness and security.
Happiness. Everyone wants to be in a place where they feel at peace with themselves, with the decisions they make and with the relationships they have. We are all on a journey to find a destination or a person to make us happy and many of us struggle to realize that it comes from within. Being at peace with the relationship you have with yourself is the first step to creating this happiness that all of our peers are searching for. Then there is Security. We strive to survive. We all want a roof over our heads and 5 dollars in our pockets. We are dreamers and thinkers that take these risks to see the world or challenge ourselves and in some cases we risk our security for our happiness. But we can’t give up because if we give up then the world will take us over and leave us empty handed. We were not born to live an empty life. And I realized during this weekend that everyone in the hostel seemed to be speaking in search of those two things.
I left everything I knew. My friends, my home, my income, but the longer I am apart from it all the happier I seem to be. I no longer worry about who to make happy. I now live in these moments for ME! FINALLY… After all this time of creating a happy and secured environment for my loved ones I had forgotten to create one for myself. Making this move proved me that I have strength and courage to overcome any challenge. If I set my mind to something and I really want to accomplish it, nothing will stop me. I excel, I push forward and I make things happen. It may have taken a trip across the United States for me to figure that out, but I was willing to take the risk and I am happier for it.